My "5 Wishes"

Five Wishes

1. Health care representative -The person I want to make decisions for me:
I will be making decisions for myself (like what I am already attempting to do here) but for other matters (like which doctor, which hospital), in the absence of any clear directive or of a clearly identified preference my family can decide on that. The health care agent I am assigning will come into play only in a situation where an 'end-of-life' decision may have to be made (i.e., whether to already 'pull the plug') and is meant to make sure that my health directive is honored and implemented (see number 2).

I am assigning Dr. S or Dr. L of the Philosophy department in Diliman as my health care representative.

I am choosing a non-relative for two reasons: 1) my family might have qualms implementing the directive, they being Catholic conservatives, and 2) to maintain some emotional distance - to prevent emotions from clouding their judgment.

2. Living will - The kind of treatment I want and do not want:
Quick facts about me:
1.I have low tolerance for pain
2.I can be squeamish at times.
3.I'm a fighter though.
4.I put a high premium on human dignity.
5.In extreme cases I might have to choose 'quality' over 'sanctity' of life.
6.I want a full life, not just mere existence.
7.I do not want to place undue burden on my family.
8.I value self-reliance, independence, freedom
9.I'm a believer.

In case of a coma or PVS – give me three days (72 hours to be exact): All the fighting I can do I will do within that period. Should there be a miracle (I also believe in miracles but there might be things better than a particular miracle at that moment), I want everyone to understand/interpret His decision/will (manifested in a miracle or absence thereof) within the context of a 3-day wait and see period. After 3 days have elapsed and there are no signs of improvement and my condition has been deemed irreversible (which a doctor can verify based on medical standards), the plug may finally be pulled, and my health care proxy can and should attest that that is what I want.

For organ donation – sure, I will donate my eyes (though I'm afraid they might not be of any use by then), heart, liver, and kidneys, if still okay. Organ donation only for transplantation – NOT for some experiment or as study specimen. My family/close friends/relatives, should they have a need for it, should be first in the list of possible recipients, priority determined by ties. For donation to a recipient unknown to my family – hospital rules should be applied. The recipient(s) however should agree to have cremation when they die.

I would accept blood only from immediate relatives (J,J,J)except in extreme/emergency cases but even in those cases please ensure safe, clean blood.

In case of terminal illness (which will not happen and here discussed only hypothetically), I would fight with all my might. Should there be no signs of winning the battle and is already in its late stage, palliative care/pain management only. DNI (Do not intubate), DNR (Do not resuscitate), AND. I will even allow terminal sedation (TS). This is a Ulysses Pact, so my health care proxy is free to implement it.

3. How comfortable do I want to be:
I have an acute sense of smell and the most vulnerable parts of my body I think are the nasal cavity, throat, and lungs. (I can work in a fragrance company as a “nose”. I can smell even the slightest hint of something and may develop allergies/irritations as a result of that....which means I can't work as a 'nose' after all). I don't want a room that smells like a hospital, that smells like a sick person's room. I want it ultra clean, no smell of some domex or zonrox and any other cleanser/disinfectant especially if it just masks the smell of whatever putrid thing. I want a natural clean fresh scent.
I want to stay clean.
I love to receive flowers – lots of them (sick or not).
I might not like too much noise.

4. How I want people to treat me:
If I'm not here in the country I want to go back and stay here.
I am very particular with privacy and dignity. I want things done in private.
I want gender-sensitive doctors/nurses. I want those who really care and have a heart.
I prefer to just stay home....maybe in our farm in the province.
And again, I love to receive flowers.

5. What I want my family to know and last wishes:

I want my family – my own and the one I'm part of – to know that they've always been first in my heart, that my journey with them was really amazing, that I think they were especially chosen for me, that if given a chance I would choose to share life with them again, and that in the after-life I really would love to see them again and I would want us to 'recognize' each other as the same people who shared a bond or ties.
There is nothing that needs to be forgiven (or put differently, everything is forgiven). I have no regrets.
I strongly advice my own child (no I don't have one yet, let's see), my siblings and their children, and everyone else younger ones especially to strive to be good persons and to live good, fulfilling, and meaningful lives.

There might be senti moments (and I hope there are not many)– I want only immediate family members/closest relatives and closest friends to cry with me, the rest – laugh with me. No pitying. Even during the crying moments we should not be crying because of pity but rather because of what we stand to miss. (sob. sob.)

I will spend my last days writing (poems, prose, stories), reading (poems and good books), looking at or enjoying my portfolio/s, talking about Metaphysics & Theosophy & Taoism & Einstein & Quantum Physics, and listening to Yruma & Yanni & Groban, and if still possible, going nature tripping (now who says we're talking about being sick).

No viewing, closed casket. Just maybe a 'stroll down memory lane' - with some video or pictures presentation (complete with animation), chat with friends/relatives – good warm chat, if possible no more crying.

No gambling PLEASE. (In the province it's like that.)

I'm afraid of worms and anything that crawls – I go for cremation. My family can decide on what to do with the ashes.

No posthumous medical procedure on my body or any part and extension of it whatsoever except for organ donation and as outlined above.

I am very particular with the things I own, I would even say that I'm attached to them. So I want things I'm leaving behind to be properly taken care of.
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